It all starts with christening … or does it? The imagination of parents to be, starts limiting their children even before they are born. Not because they don’t want what’s best for their children, no… but because of what is best for their children in their eyes. What is best for a girl in her catholic parents’ eyes? According to the stereotypes that I had to face when I was young, a good catholic girl has to be obedient ( to serve her man better ), responsible ( cause his mum and clergymen told him that he doesn’t have to be ), neat and tidy and CLEAN ( with a touch of OCD ). But above all she has to be a good wife material which requires a degree from university so she can work professionally in the future and bring money home but if she earns more than him she shouldn’t throw it in his face and make him feel bad about it! She also shouldn’t be smarty pants and unbearable know it all because a good catholic girl is humble and respects her man. She should be very modest but great in bed. She should be able to fulfill her man’s every fantasy and desire but shouldn not be slutty. When the family gets bigger she takes care of them all and she stays on top of everything : the house, her work, his work, the up bringing of children but most of all makes sure he’s in good mood. The only part that she is not required to tend to is the money. She can have some, of course, but she doesn’t really need much because, let’s face it, she doesn’t need a car because her man has a driving licence and why would she need a driving licence if women are bad drivers anyway; also a laptop or a computer is a ‘big boy’s toy’ so if she needs to use the internet she can use his, if she asks him first,  of course, and if she was good. A new phone is for him, she can have his old one, all she does with it is call her friends so even this one is too much. She can get a new vacuum cleaner for Christmas, she will need it afterwords and the man of the house is able to show his generosity…

Thankfully my parents were not so narrow mided and not exactly the perfect catholic husband and wife so I have experienced only some of the things I have described. But the social pressure was and still is great, especially in a country where everyone is supposed to be equal, have everything the same, know the same be the same and think the same in the eyes of God an the party, someone who stands out gets a fair share of bullying.

Regardless of your religion and country of origin, I think you can find at least a few common points with the stereotypical perception of ‘a good catholic girl’ as it’s not really about being catholic but about being a girl, who is no match for the Father, Son and the very masculine Holy Spirit.